Relationship Habits and the Power of Non-reaction

SHOW NOTES

  • Relationships are not about what you do together but how you feel together.
  • There is a lot of power in non-reaction for changing relationship habits.
  • The world gets smaller and smaller if you decide you don’t want to go out because of the way others make you feel.
  • What are we here really to learn and teach?
  • TED Talk by a teen about what he wants to be when he grows up. It is simple, he wants to be happy.

 

Relationships and Focus: Creating Satisfying Relationships

SHOW NOTES

  • Feeling good is powerful and it is the place you must start to improve your relationships.
  • You will immediately feel heightened freedom and energy when you release others to their own creation and focus on yours.
  • People benefit from being around your positive energy almost as much as you do by allowing it!
  • You can be an example of a person who focuses on the positive as you go through your life feeling good and being secure in your personal power most of the time.
  • Make room for inspired action in all your relationships. Action that will result in new and better interactions and connections with others for you to enjoy.
  • It’s so important to be disciplined about what you are focusing on about other people in order to have satisfying relationships.
  • Don’t let your mind obsess about how someone is so awful and don’t dwell on those things that you find annoying about someone else. Instead, cut them a break…no, cut yourself a break!
  • You have to control your focus to feel good. In fact, it is the only thing you do have control of. You can’t control others or at-the-moment situations you find yourself in, but you can control what you think about and what you give your attention to.
  • Every accomplishment and thing of beauty comes about because somebody believed in somebody. Believe in those around you. Believe in the best of them to see more of it.
  • And believe in yourself and your ability to keep your focus on what you enjoy and want to see more of…then look for it.

Powerful People: Relationships and Going with the Flow

SHOW NOTES

This week I want to talk a little about relationships and going with the flow in daily life.

PART ONE: As you are walking around town working to get stuff done, did you know that it’s not so much what you say or how you say it but how you vibe that determines how your interactions with others will go? People are tremendously perceptive. Many are experts in body language and decoding a vibe and they don’t even know it. You can be certain that others sense your vibe well before they can even make a logical argument to explain what they think of you.

Can you do anything about what others think of you? Should you even try? No, don’t even try, not directly anyway. Taking direct action meant to control what others think of you is a waste of life energy. Instead, use the indirect method by working on your own vibration. Create time and space to focus on feeling good. It doesn’t have to take a lot of time…less than 5 minutes really. And it doesn’t have to be a big production either. In fact, the simpler and less obtrusive the better!

Now some people might think that I’m talking about meditating every day. Meditation is a great way to bump the vibration up for some people. Personally, I find meditation a better tool for quieting mental chatter to get more in touch with intuition and to tune in to your higher self. Reaching for the feeling of love and appreciation and the sweetness of life during meditation is a great way to use daily mediation to lift your vibration too though.

There are lots of ways to feel your vibrations soar each day. Listening to your favorite music for a few minutes…especially good beat, high flying, enjoy life type songs.

Getting outdoors is another great way to raise your vibe. Whatever you can do outside that helps you notice the beauty of nature and absorb the majesty life. You could do an activity like fishing, hiking, or you could just gaze at the mountains, trees, or oceans for a bit.

I also like what I call the Leading Questions Game. Think of questions you can ask yourself to get a happy response. Have fun with it. Remember this is a game. Ask a question then give yourself a few seconds to come up with something. So you might say “Who can I appreciate right now?” or “What has been the happiest moment of my life so far?” or “If I felt like a powerful force for good right now, how would I feel.”

Make it a priority to feel your own vibration soaring for a few minutes each day. Allow the high vibe, make a space for it. Do so and you will find day-to-day interactions flowing like never before.

PART TWO: There are powerful people around us all the time. People who can either help us create a new and better story or people who will help us rehash our old story. Relationships are about the potential of the next part of your story. Through your relationships, you become more of who you are. Much of the juice of life comes from interactions with others too.

Even as we live our lives and have our experiences, we can maintain a fundamental view of others as people with the potential to connect meaningfully with us. Through times of connection, we all learn something new about ourselves. Different teachers and mentors will come into our lives through our relationships.

It’s human nature to look to others to make us feel good. One of the best feelings ever happens when we look into someone’s eyes as we laugh with them. It’s so easy to appreciate at the moment when that happens. But remember, no one else is responsible for how you feel. Would you even want them to be? I don’t care to be that dependent on anyone! I don’t control how others feel and no one but me controls how I feel.

You are worthy and your perspective is valid. You have a unique point of view and it matters. You matter whether anyone else recognizes that in any moment or not. Do not be dependent on other people’s opinion of you for your own happiness!

That being said, strive to make appreciation the whole point of your interaction with others. That appreciation will strengthen you, even though at first glance it might feel like something you are doing for someone else.

PART THREE: Let’s bring a little astrology into the picture. You are probably familiar with your Sun sign even if you haven’t ever done much work learning the symbolic language of astrology at all. For example, you most likely know you are a Pisces or Taurus. Sun sign descriptions are a great way to open the door to a little bit of the language and symbolism of astrology but there are a lot more pieces that can be added to really tap into the useful information to consider for practical relevance to your life. Whole paragraphs can be added such as, in general: how others tend to see you, what you are best known for, how you learn best, how to best nurture yourself, what makes your heart soar, what you are spontaneously willing to take action on, what to work towards as a life purpose, and many other useful pieces of information to reflect on and consider for your own practical purpose. Astrology can reveal new ideas for solutions that you have not thought of before. Then you try the new approach in your life and find out for yourself if the idea worked. This is how I love to use astrology in a very practical way.

The place to start is to get a copy of your natal chart. It is all done by computer software. You can get a free natal chart online at astro.cafeastrology.com. Just click on “Birth Chart” once you get there. You will need your birth date, birth time, and birthplace to generate a chart.